


tying the fletches

by thyrsus7



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: AU, Gen, M/M, Set Before Canon, alternate first meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thyrsus7/pseuds/thyrsus7
Summary: Before the flying kick, there was something gentler. The devotion remains a constant.





	tying the fletches

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetad. I imagined Doumeki would show more emotion as a child (and before the death of his grandfather) but still have his trademark precocious stoicism. If Watanuki seems like a bit of a crybaby, I intended it to be that way: he’s quite emphatic as a teenager, so I felt as if that would translate to being prone to tears as a young child. And besides, the kid has had a hard life, he’s right to cry. I know the canon reason for Watanuki's aversion of Doumeki is because of his unconscious survivor's guilt and desire to erase himself but I can't help but think they'd get along as kids. I hope you enjoy.

_Of course._ The day had been much too peaceful, too easy for one of those not to come by and terrorize Watanuki on his walk back home from school. With the weariness of someone much older than his seven years, he began to go through the motions. He stared straight ahead, willing himself not to make eye contact with the thing hovering above him, and counted down in his head to prepare himself. _1…2…_ and the chase had begun. 

After predator and prey sprinted around the block for a good five minutes, the monster finally decided to give up its pursuit. Watanuki collapsed on a street corner to catch his breath but was unable to enjoy relief for long; a menacing shadow had crept into his view. Expecting another akayashi, he jerked his head up, protesting whatever was about to eat him with a frantic “no!” but the shadow had belonged to two beings that were decidedly human. 

This fact did little to soothe Watanuki: they were two boys in his grade that constantly picked on him. The boys jumped at his sudden shout before falling into hysterics. 

“Why do you run around like that for no reason? You act like something’s about to eat you, it’s so creepy!”

“No one would try and eat him, he’s all skin and bone.” 

Watanuki flushed with anger, but the boys were bigger than him and would easily overpower him in a fight.

“I was being chased by a monster! Even if you can’t see it, it was there!” 

Watanuki then found himself being jerked forward by the taller of the boys, bringing them face-to-face. 

“No one likes a liar! It’s freaky how you talk about monsters all the time!” 

“I’m not lying! Let go of me!” 

The other boy gave his head a knock, sending his glasses flying. 

“Stop saying those weird things! You’re such a freak!” 

Another figure approached them, and Watanuki assumed it was someone joining in to torment him. He scrunched his eyes in anticipation of a clobbering, but when it didn’t come, he took a peek and saw that the person had grabbed both boys’ arms.

“Leave him alone. He didn’t do anything to you.” 

Without his glasses, he couldn’t see his protector clearly. Shoulder-length hair tied up in a low ponytail, was it a girl? However, they seemed to be wearing a boys’ uniform from their school. Whoever it was, the bullies seemed to hold them in high regard, obeying his words and stepping away from Watanuki. 

“Doumeki-kun! He-he was telling lies!” 

“Yeah, he keeps trying to scare everyone!” 

Doumeki. Watanuki knew he had heard the name before, some boy in another class who was good at sports and popular with the girls. _So why is he defending me?_

“Leave him alone and don’t bother him again.” 

At the quiet and calm demand, the bullies glanced at each other and dashed off. Watanuki watched them become a point in the distance when a voice shook him out of his awe. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Oh! Yes, but my glasses-“ Watanuki felt the ground for his glasses, and found them presented under his nose. 

“These?”

Watanuki slipped them on, now able to see Doumeki clearly. He was the same age as Watanuki but his sharp eyes and serious expression made him look older. Blank-faced, the boy offered Watanuki a hand which he hesitantly accepted and got to his feet. He bowed, his shock being replaced with a great gratitude. 

“Thank you so much. You really saved me today.” 

“It’s no problem. What’s your name?” 

“I’m Watanuki Kimihiro. What’s yours?” 

“I’m Doumeki Shizuka.” 

Watanuki fidgeted with the strap of his messenger bag, feeling awkward. He rarely spoke to people his own age, especially one who was being kind to him. Luckily, the longhaired boy was straightforward in conversation. 

“What were they talking about when they said you were being chased by monsters?” 

Watanuki started then looked down, not wanting to scare the boy off and ruin his chances of having a friend. 

___________________________________________________________________

Doumeki wondered if he was too blunt when he asked the question, but that was just how he spoke. The boy in front of him chewed his lip and furrowed his brow, his sad eyes fixed on the pavement. He wanted to put him at ease.

“Are they akayashi? My grandpa has told me a lot of stories about those.” The boy’s head jerked up, a frantic look on his pale face. 

“Does he see them too? I see them and they chase me everywhere! Please, you have to believe me!” 

The boy’s large, cobalt eyes were so earnest and so arrestingly hopeful that doumeki would have believed him if he said the sky was green. 

“Yes, of course I believe you.” 

Every emotion the boy felt was apparently fully displayed on his face, as obvious as a neon sign and just as brilliant. He responded to Doumeki’s confirmation by turning his mouth into a shocked O, looking like a miracle just plopped down in front of him, then just as quickly switched into a bashful smile. Doumeki wondered if the guy was either an angel or an idiot.

“Then…can we be friends?” 

“Of course.” 

The heart-shock the elated grin he received in response gave him confirmed it was the former. 

But then, a bee drew too close to the boy. He flailed unnecessarily, dispelling the feeling like something magical had just occurred with every jerk of his arm. Doumeki felt his lips tug into a smile, something that rarely happened. _Maybe he’s a bit of both._

Doumeki’s grandfather once told him the soul had a compass. When one came across certain situations, places, or people, the compass would point in a direction, and this was instinct. Following it would lead the soul to where it most needed to be. 

When the odd boy in front of Doumeki grinned, his hair mussed and glasses askew, something inside of him said ‘ _go_.’ He finally understood what his grandfather had meant. 

__________________________________________________________________

Watanuki raced all the way home, a position not foreign to him, but this time he ran out of elation, not fear. Tamagoyaki, _sausages_ , otsukemono, _spinach_ ohitashi, _and_ inari sushi. _What else…_ He had been told he possessed a talent for cooking, so what better way to thank his new friend than with a bento? Perhaps his days of eating lunch alone would come to an end. 

___________________________________________________________________

“Jii-san, are there people who are chased by akayashi?” 

Doumeki and his grandfather had been meditating by the pond, but the image of the strange boy and his smile, sweet as the stars, stuck fast in his mind.

“Oh yes, Shizuka. When people have high spiritual power they seem like tasty treats to akayashi, so those who are chased without being able to defend themselves carry a large burden.” 

Doumeki turned his gaze to the sky. He felt a rush of urgency pass through him.

“What could they do to protect themselves?” 

“Well, there are a number of things. It helps to have inborn exorcising power, but when that’s not to be found many charms, spells, and other techniques could be used. But what’s all this for? You’re not getting chased, are you?”

“No, it’s not me.”

“Ah,” the elder Doumeki came to a realization, and smiled softly as he lit a cigarette. ”Is there someone you want to help?”

“Yes, there is.”

“Well, that’s perfect then. I had been wanting to teach you how to write wards, and you’ll learn much faster if you have something to protect, right Shizuka?” 

 ___________________________________________________________________

Lunchtime couldn’t come soon enough. Watanuki fidgeted in chair, mulling over how he would present the bento. When the break-time bell finally rang, he hurried to Doumeki’s classroom, peeked into the door. Doumeki was at his table, rummaging through his bag and half-heartedly acknowledging the small group of students trying to talk to him. 

Some of the kids were Watanuki’s bullies; only they looked so different when they spoke to someone with respect that he hadn’t immediately recognized them. Watanuki felt shame slap him in the face, feeling stupid for thinking someone like Doumeki would want to befriend him. They’re probably talking about how weird I am. He began to retreat down the hall when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and there was Doumeki. 

“I was looking for you. I have something to give to you.”

___________________________________________________________________

They settled under a giant tree on top of a hill, away from the noisy students at play. Doumeki opened his bag and pulled out the wards he had written with his grandfather’s instruction. 

“These are protection wards. My grandpa is head priest at our temple and helped me write them.” He laid them out on the grass. “These four can be hung up in your room and this one can be kept near you. Hopefully they can help you.” 

He looked up to meet Watanuki’s eyes, and saw they were wide and watery behind his glasses. Had he insulted him somehow? 

“What’s wrong? You don’t have to take them if you-“ 

“No! It’s not that.” Watanuki wiped his eyes with his sleeve and smiled. 

“I’m very happy. Thank you for thinking of me Doumeki-kun. I’m sure these will protect me.” 

Doumeki felt his chest tighten with something he did not yet have the words to name. All he knew is that he felt right in protecting this boy. 

Still smiling, Watanuki untied the bento he had with him. He held it out, sheepishly looking away. 

“Ah, I wanted to thank you for yesterday, so I made you this.” 

Doumeki generally never ate things made by people he wasn’t familiar with. His grandfather had described it as him needing to trust the feelings in his food. Whatever it meant, he surprised himself by feeling completely comfortable eating the food made by a near stranger. 

He was glad he did, because the food was amazing. 

“Do you like it?” Watanuki asked, eager-eyed. Mouth still full of food, Doumeki nodded with enthusiasm. 

“I’m glad. You know,” he smiled in that shy, sweet way of his that seemed to envelope Doumeki in warmth. “If you want, I can make you bento every day.” 

“Really? I don’t want to trouble you.” 

“No, it’s ok!” he waved his hands excitedly. “I make too much for just me to eat! And I-I’d like to do it.” The blush on his cheeks deepened. 

“Ok.”

Doumeki closed his eyes to savor the food’s taste and the presence of its cook by his side. 

___________________________________________________________________

They ate and told each other stories, Watanuki of the various akayashi he had encountered and Doumeki the tales his grandpa had told him. Both boys rarely talked to others their age so the ease they felt around each other was a welcome surprise.

In some ways, they were the inverse of each other, with Watanuki’s animated speech accompanied by odd, flailing gestures, and Doumeki’s voice low and quiet, his demeanor unwaveringly calm. Watanuki always felt a sense of peace around his new friend and Doumeki felt the bespectacled boy brought color to his days. 

They continued like this for months, enjoying a peaceful lunch of Watanuki’s cooking under their tree, telling each other stories or sitting in a comfortable, happy silence. 

___________________________________________________________________

One day, Watanuki invited Doumeki over to do homework together. They met up after class and headed to Watanuki's apartment, excited to spend more time together. 

“Thank you for inviting me, I hope your parents don’t mind me intruding.” 

At this, Watanuki suddenly looked as if he might burst into tears. 

“Watanuki-kun? Are you ok?” 

“Yeah… it’s just…” his head was bowed so his hair covered his eyes, his voice wavered. 

“I don’t have parents anymore.” 

Doumeki froze in place, processing what Watanuki just said. 

“A year ago they died protecting me,” he explained. “Now my apartment manager looks after me. She’s very kind, though.” he sniffled, face still partially covered by his hair. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this.“ 

Doumeki’s throat was suddenly too thick for him to speak. Instead, he grabbed Watanuki’s hand and hoped his tight grasp could convey the intense feelings of protectiveness he felt towards this kind boy who had been cursed by fate. 

They walked the rest of the way like this, hand-in-hand, saying nothing but sharing a silent understanding.

The next afternoon the pair was eating lunch in a peaceful quiet when suddenly Watanuki spoke. “It’s funny, when we walked together yesterday I saw way less spirits, and none of them chased me. But when I walked to school alone I was chased all the way like I usually am!” 

Watanuki didn’t seem to think much of it, just a pleasant coincidence, but the words would not leave Doumeki’s mind until he was able to take them to his grandfather. 

“Yes, I wouldn’t be surprised if you inherited some of my exorcising abilities. Who knows, maybe they’ll become stronger as you get older.” 

Doumeki was elated. If there were a possibility of helping the person who was quickly becoming precious to him then he would do so in a heartbeat.

___________________________________________________________________

The sun threw Watanuki and Doumeki’s shadows from the swings where they rested and far into the trees. They had spent the day studying at Doumeki’s house and decided to treat themselves to a trip to the park. The pair spoke about this and that, the stealing shy glances at each other when the other seemed to be looking away. Doumeki let his head rest on the swing’s metal chain, abandoning his pride and indulging his urge to gaze at Watanuki, who was chattering excitedly. 

As he took Watanuki in, he couldn’t help but notice how oddly rumpled his right pant leg was, as if something was hidden underneath. Normally, he would’ve minded his own business, but his intuition told him to do otherwise. 

“Did a cat crawl up your leg?”

“Huh?”

“Your pant leg is all lumpy.” Watanuki flushed, and then spoke with more strange gestures than usual. 

“Oh! Ah! I just forgot to iron that part! That’s so silly of me! I’ll remember next time!” 

His nervous laugh and flitting eyes didn’t do much to hide that he was lying. Doumeki decided to skip coaxing out the truth from him and leaned down to lift the hem of his pants before Watanuki could jump away.

“No!” Watanuki protested, but it was already too late. The sight of bulky gauze and bandages, all white but their volume telling of the severity of the wound underneath, sent electric currents of dread up and down Doumeki’s body. His throat tightened painfully and his stomach felt as if it had been kicked.

“What happened?”

“It-“

“Was it those kids again?” Doumeki’s grandfather had always taught to never use violence, but in that moment he felt no qualms about paying anyone who hurt Watanuki back double.

“No! You don’t have to worry about it!”

The swing rattled as Doumeki got up to stand in front of Watanuki and look him in the eyes. 

“Tell me.”

“No! it’s none of your business!”

Doumeki planted his hands on Watanuki’s shoulders and then to either side of his face when he tried to dodge his stare. 

“Tell me, Watanuki. Please.”

The look of weary sorrow Watanuki suddenly bore shot a jolt right through Doumeki’s chest. 

“Alright. But it’s really not a big deal, so don’t worry.” He took a deep breath. “Yesterday, when I was walking home from school, an akayashi gave me a bit of a bite. I told the apartment manager it was from a dog and she patched me up. It’s really no big deal though, it happens-Doumeki-kun?” 

Doumeki’s vision tunneled so the only thing he saw was Watanuki, his eyes narrowing dangerously and nostrils flaring as he breathed sharply. 

“I didn’t realize you were in this much danger.”

“Huh? Doumeki-kun, really, I’m perfectly fine-“

“No, you’re not. I don’t want anything or anyone hurting you ever again.” 

Watanuki’s eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise. 

“Don’t say it’s not a big deal,” Doumeki continued with quiet intensity that was beyond his years. “You matter to me.” 

As if to emphasize his point, he kept an unwavering stare into Watanuki’s eyes, which kept the same shocked expression until they suddenly begun to swim with tears. Doumeki leaned down and drew him into a hug, cradling his head into his shoulder. 

“It’s just that-“ Watanuki said in between sobs, ”they don’t leave me alone, and it’s so scary, and the kids at school are so mean to me even though I’m telling the truth, and I miss my parents, and-“ 

Watanuki continued to pour his heart out with the passion of someone who never had anyone to pour it out to. Doumeki held him tightly, feeling so overwhelmingly protective for his friend he nearly felt like crying himself. 

When Watanuki’s sobs died down and a look of calm washed over his tear-soaked features, Doumeki walked him home, not letting their hands part.

“Doumeki,” Watanuki said warmly, “thanks for worrying about me.” 

“I’m going to find a way to protect you.” His voice was more forceful than he intended it to be seemed to alarm Watanuki. 

“Doumeki! It’s really ok!” Watanuki flapped his free hand in emphasis. 

“Good night, Watanuki-kun.” 

As soon as he knew Watanuki was safe in his apartment, Doumeki broke into a sprint, hardly able to wait one moment longer to ask his grandfather to help him gain the ability to protect his precious person. The streets blurred into a medley of orange in the sunset’s light, and Doumeki’s heart soared faster than his legs ran. He felt just like an arrow that had been released after being slowly drawn back for so long, anxious to finally reach its target. 

He knew what he wanted, what he wished for, and it was to keep that boy safe and happy, to make him smile, to keep him from disappearing. 

Then, without even realizing it, he ended up not at his temple but in the entrance of a strange, Western-looking house.

___________________________________________________________________

After two strange girls who seemed to be about his age simultaneously greeted him at the house’s ornate entrance, they led him to a room where a tall, ethereally beautiful and sumptuously dressed woman lay and smoked a kiseru pipe. 

“You have a wish?”

Doumeki had heard enough of his grandfather’s stories to know that this woman and place was not of this world.

“Yes. Can you grant it?”

“I can, if you are able to pay the price.”

The woman smiled and rose from her divan, easily surpassing six feet at her full height. She swung her endless hair over her kimono-clad shoulder and knelt down to hold Doumeki’s face in her hand. 

“I want to protect my friend. I want to stay by his side and keep him from harm. Forever.”

“Forever is a long time, boy. And what’s this lucky friends name?”

“Watanuki Kimihiro.”

A look of shock then gleeful understanding passed on the woman’s face.

“Ah! Now I see! Well, well, well...so you’re Doumeki-kun, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Doumeki didn’t bother asking how she knew. Her stifling air of omnipotence made it feel as if doing so would be redundant. 

“Well, Doumeki-kun, Watanuki is very lucky to have you as a friend. You want to protect him from the ghosts that chase after him, no?”

“Yes.”

"Well, being able to see the ghosts would be helpful, but I’m afraid that the price of giving you the power of sight would be too great. Instead, I can make it so the power dormant in you would fully develop by the time you reached adolescence instead of adulthood." 

"I’ll do it." 

The woman giggled, playfulness dissolving her enigmatic air. "In others, agreeing without knowing the price would appear as a sign of recklessness, but I know to expect better in a Doumeki." 

Then her voice became icy and eyes distant, her girlish excitement dissipating with the same suddenness as it had appeared. 

"For me to expedite the development of your latent powers of exorcism, you would have to pay the price of your memories and relationship with that boy. You will both forget about each other and won’t cross paths until your powers activate. When you inevitably meet again, he won't show affection to you as readily as he has. He will believe that he detests you, and even if he grows aware of his fondness for you he won't be keen on showing it."

A look of despair flickered across Doumeki’s face before it quickly returned to its determined set. "I’ll pay it." 

"Very well. It’s good you have powers that need activating rather than none at all. The price to attain them might have been being fervently hated by the boy with no hope of him growing warmth for you, no matter what you did." 

As she spoke, the witch fixed her gaze in the center of the room, her hands held out in front of her. The air of the room warped, and what seemed to be an intricate magic circle had appeared, swallowing the room with its luminous glow. 

"One more thing. You will forget all about this encounter, as it is necessary that you do. Step into the circle, then, and we can begin.” Doumeki approached the circle’s center, but was overcome by a sudden realization. The witch seemed to know what he was thinking and smiled compassionately.

“You weren’t able to say goodbye, huh? Would you like to do so before we grant your wish?” and with that, Doumeki was running out of the doors of the shop.

___________________________________________________________________

Watanuki was laying on his futon, his head swimming with the day’s events. He had a taste of true warmth unlike anything he had felt since his parents had died. His shoulders, back, and hands seemed to bear the impression of the boy who touched them, told him ‘you matter to me’.

“Doumeki-kun,” Watanuki muttered. Then, experimentally, “Shizuka.” 

He blushed at his own silliness, buried his face in his pillow. He felt like a brat for missing Doumeki despite having spent the day with him. After having a taste of genuine care and affection from his best friend he was yearning for more. 

It was an odd coincidence, then, when the apartment manager knocked on the door as if to answer his prayers. “Kimihiro-kun, there’s a boy with long hair here for you.” 

“What!?” Watanuki jumped up from his futon and ran to the door, excitement at his friend’s arrival surpassing his embarrassment for his disheveled and tear-stained appearance. When he opened the door, however, it seemed that Doumeki was the more disarrayed of the two. 

“Doumeki-kun? What wrong?” Doumeki took a moment to catch his breath and quickly smoothed down his hair. 

“Watanuki-kun. I…I forgot to tell you. I’m going on a trip with my family. It’s going to be…kind of long. I wanted to say goodbye.” 

Watanuki could not help but smile, despite his sadness in knowing they would have to be apart.

“Doumeki-kun, thank you for telling me. I’ll miss you.” Doumeki didn’t give Watanuki a chance to feel bashful at his own admission before placing his hands on Watanukis arms and drawing close to him. 

“I’m going away for a while.” Something in Doumeki’s expression and the timbre of his voice indicated to Watanuki that Doumeki really meant what he said, that they would not meet for a long time. Watanuki felt tears well up in his eyes but didn’t let them fall, deciding against a sorrowful goodbye. 

Instead he drew Doumeki near and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Doumeki looked more surprised than Watanuki had ever seen him. Then he shut his eyes tight and slowly drew down his head to rest on Watanuki’s shoulder. When Watanuki felt the fabric of his shirt become wet, he tentatively raised a hand to stroke Doumeki’s hair, feeling as if it was his turn to comfort. 

“Hey, Doumeki-kun?” Watanuki gulped and felt his face grow hot.

“Hn?”

“Can…I call you Shizuka?” 

The lack of an immediate reply prompted Watanuki to backtrack. He admonished himself for being too forward.

“I mean, I totally understand if y-“

“Kimihiro.” 

Watanuki gasped softly at the sound of his name in Doumeki’s voice. He wrapped his arms around Doumeki and brought him closer.

“S-Shizuka?”

“Hm?”

“Can I write to you?”

“…Yes. We’ll both write to each other.”

“Ok, lets remember. I’ll wait for your letter.”

“Let’s make it a pinky promise.” 

Doumeki lifted his head from Watanuki’s shoulder and the pair stared into each other’s eyes, willing each other’s faces to memory. When they linked fingers, they both could have sworn seeing a flash of something red.

“Bye, Kimihiro.”

“Bye, Shizuka.”

Watanuki watched Doumeki run from his apartment building until he disappeared into the orange of the sunset, fading away like the close of a dream.

The next day when he awoke, he felt strangely sad but for a reason he couldn’t place, like he had forgotten something immensely important that was just out of reach. 

___________________________________________________________________

Many years later, when Doumeki finds himself having to dodge a flying kick to the head, he feels an inexplicable wave of relief, like an arrow finally, _finally_ piercing the bull’s-eye, the impact blissful and painful and right. He doesn’t question the words that ring throughout his head the rest of the day, just simply revels in the feeling: _found you._


End file.
